shite. how many more times. i'm not doing it anymore.

i'll take a walk. it's good for health. okay maybe not in malaysia. but at least im doing my part in giving your children a better planet to live in.

it's not always as bad as it seems at first. yeah. but still. shite. i'm not touching those things. not anymore. i think i said that the last time it happened. gargh. shitshitshit. this is too much. this rollercoaster's not just going up and down and making loop de loops, its gonna derail soon. i need to get off. i need to get out. i need a break. i need to be free.

am i already in too deep? its not a mistake unless you can't fix it. i think i read that in some chic lit. how do i fix this. need a fix. hahah. don't know why i'm doing this. attention?

how do you wanna help others if you can't help yourself. help yourself. fix it. fix yourself. then get back. get a grip. 

up and down and up and down and up and down. used to be years. then months. then weeks. then days. now hours. up and down. didn't know it was possible. so many times in a day.

i want you to know you make me happy. i want you to know you make me sad. you are the best thing that i've ever had. amazing how something so simple leaves such a big impact. the butterfly effect. 

it's not what you think it's about. don't try to understand. shit. becoming the very thing you despise. what happend to your principles? lost sight of them. never had them? how deep are you in now. the more you struggle the deeper you sink. like quicksand. sleeping at last. careful hands. breathtaking song. that longing melody, as the piano and violin embraces each other. he's alone.

no. not quicksand. you're not even struggling. you're just letting yourself sink. enjoying the view as you go along? need to get a grip. get a grip.

he's the best. you love him. love him? then why are you in this in the first place? letting people down. let down. you think too highly of me. great expectations lead to great downfalls. i'm not who i used to think i could be. she said, the greatest tragedy in life is not living it to your fullest potential. you used to tell yourself that, didn't you? how has it gone to the stage where somebody has to say it to you. that was then. i kinda miss her.

back today. twas fun. but musn't lose sight. they need a stage piano. not an upright. not a baby grand. then it all sank. full circle. rollercoaster.

take the wheel and drive. incubus. hahahahahah. bloody hell. this is shit.